Against My Better Judgement
by Snapplelinz
Summary: When the worst decisions turn out to be so sinfully good, the iCarly studio is the perfect backdrop for the ensuing chaos. Shameless smut, you have been warned.
1. Freddie And Tasha

**Author's Notes: Hello, chaps! For some of you who've heard me muttering to myself about writing new FF stories, this is actually not the proposed iCarly story I've been alluding to for a while. But this has been swimming around in my head for a while: a series of smutty oneshots featuring some interesting iCarly characters. And seriously, 'iEnrage Gibby' was just begging for this :P Note: this follows from canon relating to 'iStart A Fanwar' and 'iPity The Nevel'. I could bore you by saying that I took great care to make the original canon plausible for this particular story. But I'd be lying.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly in any capacity. All I own are my twisted fantasies, and yours ;D**

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Freddie opened the door to his apartment with a weary countenance. It was almost pushing 7pm and his entire body was racked with pain and exhaustion. The drive home had taken a good hour and Sam had demolished about 5 Fat Shakes in one sitting.

They'd just gotten back from WebiCon.

_Finally. _

Freddie couldn't even find it in himself to stay mad at Sam for ruining the press conference in the first place. Sure, it was entirely her fault for messing up things between Carly and Adam before they'd even started, all because she wanted to have some fun at his and Carly's expense by telling the iCarly fans they were madly in love.

And then somehow, Carly had made the mood at WebiCon infinitely worse by telling the iCarly fans that she wanted to be with Adam, which had led to both Creddie and Seddie fans dragging Adam off to God-knows-where. After that, Carly just seemed to deflate under the pressure and accept Adam's fate with resignation.

Freddie knew he should feel a little disturbed by Carly's indifference about the situation with Adam, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. He and Carly had been an item a short time ago, but it felt more and more like a dream that had happened to someone else and not him.

Besides, they were friends at the end of the day. And truth be told, he hadn't really warmed up to Adam, which had nothing to do with his and Carly's previous romantic history. Adam just seemed way too into his looks and quite frankly…gullible.

Carly deserved better.

After saying one last apology in-between sips, Sam left Bushwell Plaza with Fat Shake in hand. Carly had given Freddie a half-smile before she and Spencer had entered their own apartment.

Physically, Freddie wanted to collapse onto his bed and sleep off his exhaustion. But he knew his brain wouldn't be shutting down any time soon. The best way to tire out his mind was to work on some iCarly segments.

His Mom was working the night shift, so he decided to head back to the iCarly studio and edit some footage for an upcoming iCarly episode. After taking a quick shower and changing into another pair of jeans and a fresh black golf shirt, Freddie strolled back to the Shay's apartment and knocked casually on the front door.

Carly answered the door herself; she was already dressed for bed in a pair of white and blue striped pyjama pants, a baby blue tank top, her dark brown hair wet and wavy.

"Hey, Freddie."

"Hey, Carly."

"What's up? I thought you were already in bed after that long drive." Carly declared with a puzzled frown on her face.

"My body definitely feels like it. But I won't be able to sleep anyway, so I figured I'd edit some of that 'Idiot Farm Girl Goes To The Big City' sketch you and Sam did the other night." Freddie explained while rubbing the back of his head as Carly let him into the apartment.

"Considering how 'well' things went at WebiCon earlier, I'm surprised you haven't already quit the show," Carly teased with a wry smile on her face after shutting the door behind him.

"Come on, Carls. I would never ditch the show or you and Sam just because of a couple of crazy iCarly fans." Freddie murmured soothingly right before giving Carly a quick and friendly hug.

"That means a lot, Freddie. I'm sorry about what I said earlier with the whole 'Oh God no' part. It seems pretty stupid in hindsight." Carly apologised meekly, seemingly close to tears when she and Freddie broke apart.

"It's cool, I get it. I know that wasn't about me, you were just trying to get Adam to trust you. For what it's worth, he's an idiot for not believing you in the first place." Freddie offered with sudden intensity.

"Maybe. Then again, I'm the idiot who let the Seddie and Creddie fans drag him off afterwards." Carly remarked with a loud sigh.

"You're right about that."

Carly smacked Freddie on the shoulder and he dodged her second attempt while chuckling heartily. This made Carly laugh in turn and they savoured the shift in atmosphere for a few seconds, some of their earlier tension and discomfort disappearing.

"Jerk. Ok, I'm gonna crash because my body is screaming for sleep. Good luck with the editing."

"Thanks. Night, Carls."

"Night, Freddie."

Carly skipped up the stairs while Freddie pushed the button on the elevator. Then he climbed in and rode it all the way up to the iCarly studio. He unlocked the door and switched on the main computer, which was still hooked up to the LCD screen. In spite of the disaster at WebiCon, he couldn't help laughing at some of the comments left by the fans on the iCarly website, most of them still continuing their virtual trash talk about Creddie and Seddie.

He finally uploaded the latest 'Idiot Girl and Count Nosenstein' sketch frame by frame and began cropping and editing the video clips timeously. The grapefruit-sized artificial nose which covered Sam's petite nose really was hilarious while he watched Carly (dressed in her cowgirl outfit) pull her best friend along in a scene as they explored the fictitious metropolis of 'New Schneider'.

While Freddie kept laughing at a scene of Sam accidentally getting her long black cape stuck under the wheel of a yellow taxi, he heard soft footsteps and the studio door being opened.

"I thought your body was screaming for sleep," Freddie noted without turning around.

"Excuse me?"

The girlishly husky voice took Freddie completely by surprise. He whipped around sharply and stared in amazement at Tasha, who stood in the doorway. Even more astonishing was the fact that she looked like she had been crying, a lot.

"_Tasha?" _Freddie greeted with wide eyes.

"Hi," Tasha greeted with a watery smile.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" Freddie asked seriously, pressing the 'pause' button on the video clip he was editing.

"I'm not sure really." Tasha offered with an uncertain glance at her surroundings.

Even though she looked like she had been crying for close to a year, Freddie still managed to notice that Tasha was incredibly beautiful, with her long and toned legs, stilettos on her feet, denim mini-skirt that made her hips look really curvy, a pink tank top which accentuated her chest and a brown leather jacket covering it which matched her silky honey-brown hair.

"I don't know what made me come here. I thought Carly might be up here." Tasha added after a long pause.

"Carly went to bed a little while ago." Freddie offered lamely.

"Oh, I see. No one answered the door downstairs. So I just came up. I'll just go…" Tasha trailed off awkwardly and turned away.

"You could stay if you want." Freddie tried again, his voice sounding more confident.

"I don't wanna intrude-"

"You're not intruding. I was just editing some footage for our next iCarly episode. Wanna see some?" Freddie asked politely.

After some hesitation, Tasha nodded slowly and Freddie pulled up another chair for her in front of the computer. She sat down next to him and he pressed 'play' on the last video clip. At this point in the sketch, Carly was skipping stupidly in the middle of oncoming traffic that Freddie had CGI'd into the scene, which made him laugh uproariously at Carly's facial expressions. Without warning, Tasha began sobbing beside him.

"What's wrong, Tasha?" Freddie asked in alarm.

"I'm sorry, I'm so stupid! It's just that…Sam's nose is shaped like a grapefruit and grapefruit is Gibby's favourite!" Tasha wailed uncontrollably.

"O-k…" Freddie trailed off with a raised eyebrow.

"It seems stupid to be crying over it. But I can't help it! I'll never see him eat grapefruit again!" Tasha howled hysterically.

"What are you talking about? Did something happen to Gibby?" Freddie questioned, rising to his feet.

He hadn't seen him at Webi-Con. According to Sam, Gibby texted her, saying he only got there after the cops had cleared out the place. Freddie thought he'd just gone home again – what if he'd been in a car accident or something? His grandfather was practically blind…

"Gibby's fine. But we broke up." Tasha replied miserably as a fresh batch of tears escaped down her cheeks.

"What?" Freddie asked in confusion.

This was insane. Sure, neither he, Sam or Carly had understood Tasha's attraction to Gibby and Tasha hadn't seemed like she was crazy. But he'd thought they were happy, especially after they patched things up after that stupid misunderstanding during the Hobo Party.

What could've possibly gone wrong since then?

"Why?" he finally asked.

"He said we weren't exclusive." Tasha sniffed, her shoulders convulsing while she hiccoughed.

Instinctively, Freddie placed his hand on Tasha's shoulder and steered her towards one of the comfy futons in the middle of the room. She sagged down into one while he flopped onto the one next to her.

"I don't get it. I thought you guys were…dating each other." Freddie stated pensively.

"So did I. But apparently, Gibby said he told me from the start that he didn't want to get too tied down." Tasha explained with traces of anger still evident in her tone.

"And did he?" Freddie probed.

"Yes. But I didn't think he meant it like that. I thought he meant he wanted to take things slow with us – not see other girls behind my back!" Tasha exploded suddenly.

"He cheated on you?" Freddie asked in surprise.

Gibby may be strange at the best of times, but Freddie never pegged him for a cheater. Especially after he exploded into a fit of jealousy over Tasha accidentally falling on top of him right here in the iCarly studio. That Gibby seemed like a 'one-woman' kind of guy.

"I'm not sure. But I saw him at the Groovy Smoothie with another girl. And she was all over him – hugging him and kissing him. He didn't seem to mind." Tasha retorted scathingly.

"So you confronted him?" Freddie asked, trying to piece the puzzle together in his mind.

"Pretty much, and Gibby didn't try to defend himself. All he said was that he thought I 'understood'. I got so mad at him that I broke up with him then and there in front of everyone and stormed out. I didn't wanna go home, so I ended up here somehow." Tasha answered while dabbing at her eye with a tissue.

Freddie couldn't believe it. Gibby didn't want to be exclusive with Tasha – is he crazy? The girl was smoking hot; any guy with half a brain would've cut off their right arm just for the chance to date her exclusively.

And if he was being honest, he was one of those guys.

"I feel so stupid," Tasha continued in a dejected voice.

Freddie never did well when faced with a crying woman or girl, much less when it was Carly and he was still hopelessly in love with her years ago. But he instinctively moved closer and placed his arms around Tasha and pulled her into a warm hug.

"You're not stupid, Tasha." Freddie murmured gently, feeling strangely inadequate in this particular situation.

"Yes, I am. Why can't I pick a guy who just wants to date me and only me? What did I do wrong?" Tasha questioned in a blubbery voice.

"Nothing, you didn't do anything wrong. Gibby's my friend, but he should've been clearer about what he wanted from you. You deserve to be with somebody who sees how amazing and sweet you are, Tasha. How beautiful you are-"

"You think I'm beautiful?"

Tasha, who had been looking down the entire time, finally looked Freddie in the eye when he said that. She hadn't been expecting the compliment, even though she'd heard it a hundred times from guys, even Gibby. She was struck anew by the colour of his eyes – they were a lovely shade of hazel brown with flecks of green in them.

How had she not noticed before?

Sure, she'd _noticed_ Freddie before. It was hard not to.

He was kinda geeky and talked about computer stuff that she knew nothing about. But he had helped her pick out an awesome camera for Gibby to make videos of his cats with. And he was funny and nice to her whenever he saw her.

Plus, he was really good looking. Her eyes momentarily left his face and strayed onto his massive arms, the muscles straining against his golf shirt. Rehab definitely did a body good where he was concerned.

Yip, Freddie Benson was the total package.

Of course, she would never have done anything about it while she was dating Gibby, she just wasn't that kind of girl.

But now…

Freddie hadn't even realised just how close Tasha was leaning into him now. He had been absent-mindedly stroking her cheek with his fingers and patting her hair gently. The look in her eye made him uncomfortable in a way that he wished he didn't secretly like.

"Of course I think you're beautiful, Tasha. Any guy would have to be blind or dangerously stupid not to notice." Freddie answered in a feeble voice.

He suddenly wished he could take it back when Tasha moved even closer to him, her face just inches away from his. She was wearing some flowery perfume that went wafted straight into his nose. It took all of his self-restraint not to look and notice the way that her skirt was currently riding up on her thighs.

"Tasha, what are you doing?" Freddie asked in a strained voice, feeling oddly parched.

"You're really sweet, Freddie. And I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think you were pretty cute too." Tasha announced in a husky voice.

Freddie was completely paralysed when Tasha began running a lone hand through his hair. He wanted to stop her, but he couldn't find the strength to push her off of him. Then something shifted dramatically in Tasha's dark brown eyes when her gaze moved down to Freddie's lips before meeting his eyes again as she straddled him on his futon.

It took a couple of seconds (which felt like hours) before Tasha eventually leant forward and engulfed Freddie's lips in a sweet and chaste kiss. Freddie's brain completely shut off for a few seconds while he kissed her back eagerly.

But then his conscience (and his gag reflex) kicked in when Gibby's face popped into his head. He broke the kiss and pushed Tasha gently off of him.

"What's wrong, Freddie?" Tasha asked breathlessly, her lips delightfully swollen from where Freddie had kissed her senseless just a moment ago.

"We can't do this, Tasha. Gibby's my best friend and you're his-"

"I'm not his anything!" Tasha fumed impatiently.

"Maybe not, but this isn't a good idea, Tasha. You're feeling vulnerable right now and I don't wanna take advantage of that."

"You're not taking advantage of me, Freddie. I want this. Don't you want me?"

_What a question_, Freddie thought wearily to himself while giving Tasha the once over. The most gorgeous girl he'd ever laid eyes on was currently sitting in his lap propositioning him.

In a perfect world, this would be 'The Freddie Way' of doing Christmas.

"Of course I want you. Tasha, I've wanted you ever since the first day I found out you were Gibby's girlfriend. You're insanely hot." Freddie practically sobbed on the last part.

"Wow, I had no idea. If I weren't dating Gibby before, I would totally have gone for a guy like you. You're smart, sweet, funny, good looking. I want you too, Freddie. So what's the problem?" Tasha asked in a seductive purr.

Indeed, what exactly was the problem?

Besides Gibby, Tasha seemed to know exactly what she wanted. And he'd had a beyond-crap day at Webi-Con. After basically being undermined in every way as a viable romantic partner all day long, Freddie needed all the affirmation he could get.

Tasha grinned and pulled him for a long and deep kiss that set Freddie's senses alight. And it made the growing erection in his pants all the more unbearable. Freddie's arms locked around Tasha's waist and pulled her right on top of him till she was straddling him on one of the futons, his lips falling on hers with breathless anticipation.

Tasha moaned in-between kisses, her hands finding their way into Freddie's hair as she ground her hips sensually against his. Freddie groaned at the sensation of their bodies moving together, making him ache to be even closer to her than they already were. Tasha's legs wound their way around Freddie's hips as she made short work of pulling his golf shirt up and over his head.

Then her mouth began curling and weaving all along the planes of Freddie's chiselled jaw line, slipping down towards his neck before landing on his perfectly sculpted abs.

"Oh God," Freddie hissed, his eyes shutting of their own accord while he struggled to catch his breath.

"I'll take that as a good sign." Tasha murmured teasingly, a wide grin etched on her face.

"Such a good sign…" Freddie practically wept, particularly when Tasha had already removed her jacket and ripped off of her chest-hugging tank-top to reveal the merchandise which lay underneath.

Freddie knew for certain that the sexy black bra Tasha was currently sporting definitely hadn't been manufactured at Build-A-Bra.

"Like what you see?" Tasha asked with a smug look on her face when Freddie continued staring at her face (or just a little further south) with a vacant expression.

"Like you wouldn't believe." He answered truthfully, his eyes lifting to meet hers bravely.

Then Tasha leant in and kissed Freddie chastely on the lips before pulling back, a look of understanding forming on her face.

"I think I have an idea."

And then everything sped up like a video tape set to 'fast-forward'. Freddie was gripping Tasha tightly to him, his hands in her hair, his lips conveying more than any movement of his body ever could. And Tasha was moaning in-between kisses, the sound making Freddie feel extremely dizzy and heated everywhere their skin came into contact with each other.

Then his lips were painting a faint line all along her shoulder blade, sucking hungrily at her smooth skin as his fingers made short work of pulling down her velvety bra straps.

He'd never gone this far with a girl before, much less Carly, where he practically had to beat her away with a bat when they dated briefly after his accident. But instinctively, Freddie knew just what to do in this particular scenario, knew just how to touch Tasha to make her come undone. For Tasha's part, she and Gibby had done quite a lot since he had been her first serious boyfriend. But this was completely new and thrilling to her on a different level, feeling the full force of Freddie's desire crashing down over her like a tsunami.

"Freddie, touch me!" Tasha begged, her remaining doubt falling away completely at the feel of his warm hands on her body.

Freddie acquiesced and undid Tasha's bra, watching momentarily as it fell to the ground. Then he stared fervently at her full and perky breasts, the straining in his jeans becoming all too unbearable. He began with soft touches which soon turned to rough groping as Tasha's hands encased his and accelerated his ministrations.

"Freddie!" she exclaimed.

Freddie stilled the rest of Tasha's loud of moans by covering his mouth with hers, his hands stroking her breasts, delighting in the feel of them gradually melding to his every touch.

Tasha returned to the task at hand with clinical precision as she moved away from Freddie's wondrous hands momentarily. Then she pushed him back till he lay at a 90° angle on the futon and she was straddling him again. With expert motions, Tasha kissed her way down Freddie's chest till her lips were positioned right above the fly on his jeans. Her fingers snapped off the top button before pulling the zipper down so agonisingly slow that Freddie wanted to explode right then and there.

Then with some careful manoeuvring, Freddie's jeans were off and he was groaning sharply at the feel of Tasha's hand moving across his tented girth through his boxers. Tasha cupped him forcefully and let her hand glide up and down, creating a steady rhythm of gut-wrenching pleasure. He couldn't take it anymore – all this endless teasing was making him crave to be inside her like a flame that just kept on burning deep in his lust-filled mind.

"Tasha, ungh! Oh God, I need – you have to stop or I'll…!" Freddie managed to gasp out when Tasha finally took the hint.

"Do you have, um…protection?" Tasha asked quietly, finally showing some hesitation at the prospect of what they were about to do.

Freddie's eyes shot wide open at this.

Like any teenage boy innately curious about the human body, he kept a stack of condoms in a secret hiding place.

_In his bedroom. _

A good couple of meters away from the iCarly studio.

Before he could offer to go get them, Tasha had already climbed off of him. To Freddie's surprise, she had simply retrieved her purse from somewhere on the floor and taken out an object wrapped in foil.

"Tonight's your lucky night, Freddie Benson." She declared with a mischievous smile.

_Ain't that the truth? _Freddie thought happily to himself as Tasha bent over to remove her mini-skirt, leaving her in just a pair of white panties on legs that went on forever.

He didn't need a second invitation to take off his boxers and roll the condom onto his rock-hard cock, heat pulsing through it while it twitched with anticipation at what was about to happen. Tasha joined him a few seconds later, her lips meshing furiously with his as Freddie peeled away at her underwear, his hands lingering on her toned ass for a few seconds. Then he pulled her close to him again, their chests grazing tantalisingly against each other. Tasha could see the hungry look in Freddie's eye and it excited her.

Then he kissed her again and the world started spinning all around as Freddie pinned Tasha beneath him, his hard dick rubbing against her stomach. His easy dominance over her body was making Tasha throb down below in a deliciously painful way.

"Freddie, I need you now." Tasha whispered in ecstasy, the remnants of her self-control slipping away under his steady gaze.

Freddie moved in closer, feeling the evidence of her slick arousal against his thigh, making his head spin with dizzying force. He stopped his teasing and guided himself inside of her.

It was sweet torture: a strange dichotomy of tight repression and swirling pleasure coursing through both of them at the first contact. Tasha gasped in ecstasy and began moving her hips, urging Freddie on. And urgent he was as he pushed his hips forward on each thrust, pushing Tasha deeper into the almost deflated futon bearing the brunt of their forcible coupling.

With her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, Tasha pulled Freddie in deeper while he kept pummelling her over and over again. Warmth and wetness met each other in a frantic battle as Freddie ground his hips against hers, his face finding purchase on her shoulder as he thrust in and out with dedication.

"Urgh, Tasha!" Freddie wailed, the pleasure beginning to numb every inch of him as he ploughed on.

"Yes, Freddie! That's it, just like that!" Tasha gasped out, chest arched forward, lost in her own agonised pleasure, particularly when Freddie's fingers found her sensitive bundle of nerves as he tweaked them mercilessly.

Her hand wrapped around his ass cheek and guided his movements as Freddie rotated his hips to hit her inner walls at a new angle that made her cry out with overwhelming pleasure. Tasha in turn squeezed at Freddie till his eyes rolled in their sockets with mind-numbing ecstasy.

"God!" he yelled, feeling his approaching release barrelling through him like a freight train about to crash into a hundred people.

"I'm gonna cum…" he breathed as he felt his legs start to shake uncontrollably.

"Me too! More, Freddie – please!" Tasha chorused, her hips moving in sync with Freddie as her belly began to clench with a familiar pleasure-pain.

Freddie obeyed her command, going faster and harder as his hips thrust back and forth, his fingers rubbing frantically against her sweet spot to bring her over the edge.

"FREDDIE!"

Those seven little letters of his name were evidently the magic words, making Freddie groan loudly as he spilled over and drowned in her, pulsing deep within and fusing their bodies together as he twitched violently inside of her. When the rocking of his body finally stopped, Freddie opened his sweaty eyelids and looked down on Tasha's chest heaving while she fought to catch her breath, her fingertips grazing her temple as if she was deep in thought.

In this light, she'd never looked more ravishing in his eyes, her hair tousled from the friction of rubbing against the futon below her.

Tasha's eyes met his and she smiled radiantly at him before their lips met together spontaneously. Freddie's hands encircled her shoulders as his tongue explored her mouth with unbridled passion. When they broke apart, Tasha was still smiling; Freddie was happy to find that her eyes were completely dry now.

Getting dressed again was only partially awkward, but mostly with a comfortable silence as they retrieved their clothes from the floor.

"I guess I'd better get going."

In spite of what had just transpired between them, Freddie still felt his heart throbbing violently in his chest when Tasha approached him, her hips swaying coyly.

"So…tonight was a lot of fun," Tasha stated by way of introduction.

"Yeah, it really was." Freddie agreed.

"Thank you for being here for me, Freddie. You're really sweet."

Then Tasha placed her hands gently on his shoulders and kissed him languidly, giving him a powerful sense of dejavu in his tenting boxers.

Then she bit her lip nervously, her eyes cautiously flickering over his as a faint hint of rouge crept onto her cheeks.

"Call me."

And then she was gone, just as suddenly as when she arrived. Freddie pinched himself hard on the arm just to make that he wasn't dreaming or that someone wasn't playing a really bad prank on him.

In the history of all things bizarre and unexplainable, this had to be the weirdest thing to ever happen to him on top of getting kidnapped by a crazy iCarly fan.

Then Freddie grinned stupidly to himself.

Bad news: He was gonna have to burn both futons in the studio.

Good news: Tasha hadn't once said 'Oh God No'.

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**Author's Note: Well I hope you all enjoyed the smuttiness up above. If not, then I would recommend some really expensive psycho-therapy :D In my defense, work has been kicking my ass a lot and lately I've been generally...frustrated. Not sure how many chapters I'll write for this, let's give it a college try as they say. Next couple: Sam and Brad when I have a mind to write it :P Cheerio!**


	2. Sam And Brad

**Hello, my fellow iCarly fans!** **It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...without a dope beat to step to! Ok, that was an Aaliyah song, but I meant every word ;D ****Let's see, what have I been up to lately? I finished my contract at work a month ago, got involved in yet another fruitless romantic entanglement (I have a talent for that), I'm broke and have basically been consuming ****my body mass in brownies, chocolate and other delicious comfort food :P**

**But enough about the good things currently happening in my life. As promised, I've finally completed a second chapter for this story and here it is - with bells on!** **I've already got an idea for a third chapter, but I wouldn't sit around waiting for it just yet if I were you. Mama's slowly coming out of a weird funk, baby steps. I hope you all enjoy this one :D**

***Warning: ****explicit adult content below and some strong language**. **But since this is an M-rated fic, what else did you expect from the likes of me?***

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, the characters or the infamous futons.**

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"Baby, will you take me back? Well there I said it, I said it, I said it…"

A mass of curly blonde hair swirled around a teenage girl's head in frenzied waves while the girl in question danced on the spot, a blue remote clutched tightly in her hand. With the effortless sway of her hips while she moved in time to the beat of the song playing overhead, one would've initially surmised that she was happy.

This wasn't true at all.

Against all plausible reason, Sam Puckett was having a supremely bad night.

And it had everything to do with one particular nub that was currently invading her brain like a bad rash.

What had she been thinking?

Tonight was supposed to have been about Freddie finally getting to see her softer side; the side that was kind, considerate and not prone to beating him into a cheese stick for all the things about him that usually drove her nuts.

Why else would she have made him fresh guac without putting anything lethal in it – like Ex-Lax or one of Pam's expired sleeping pills so he and Brad wouldn't be able to finish their project during the lock-in?

Now she remembered why.

Because after years of wishing that Freddie would just simply disappear from hers and Carly's lives for good, Sam had finally realised that she kinda needed the nub to stick around indefinitely.

On account of being bat-shit-crazy in love with the dork.

"Dammit, Puckett! What were you thinking when you locked lips with Fredturd in the middle of a freakin' lock-in!" Sam scolded herself when she finally came to a dead stop.

"You kissed Freddie! What if somebody had seen you?" She demanded in horror, the thought startling her momentarily into sobered reflection.

What if somebody had seen the two of them in the quad? What would she have even said?

_I was just uh…trying to kill a spider with my lips…on Benson's lips? _

Sam snorted loudly at this lame reason which had just popped into her head.

It wasn't like any of it mattered anyway, least of all to Freddie.

He didn't even kiss her back.

He just stood there, like the lame Galaxy-Wars-Loving-Tech-Nerd he is, not declaring his undying love for her like he was supposed to in the moment.

All he'd said in response to the whole thing was that it was 'cool' after she had apologised for jumping him like Frothy hocked up on meds after his fifth surgery.

"I am such an idiot! Of course Freddie doesn't feel the same way! He's probably still got that picture of Carly taped to the inside of his closet…" Sam grumbled bitterly while tossing an empty can of Preppy Cola at the wall with sudden vengeance.

Getting angry was good. It was an emotion she was all-too-familiar with.

Getting sad and depressed over someone she could barely stand when she wasn't too busy falling punch-drunk in love with him wasn't an option.

That's why Sam hadn't bothered to hang around for the lock-in. After she ran away from Freddie, she'd escaped from school by climbing through a window in the girls' bathroom on the first floor. Trust Ted to overlook one tiny glitch in his perfect security system…

She couldn't deal with this chiz right now, she needed some time to think.

And by 'think', she really meant 'drink' in Fucked-Up-Puckett-Women terminology.

So she went home first, only to discover that Pam wasn't home. Sam guessed her mom was either cruising for a new boyfriend/governor of a made-up-state at her favourite bar or crashing on her best friend Delilah's sofa trying to sleep off a massive hangover.

Delilah lived in the apartment above her business: an adult video store/barber shop.

Go figure.

Either way, Sam didn't really care that Pam wasn't home. All the more easier to raid her mom's not-so-secret booze stash that she kept in a mini-bar fridge tucked under her bed without raising too much suspicion. Pam would just think she'd drunken the booze herself.

So Sam had grabbed a six-pack of beer and somehow ended up at Bushwell Plaza.

Under normal circumstances, this would've been a way-bad idea simply because she might run into Freddie.

But knowing him, Sam figured that he was too much of a boy scout to sneak out of school during the lock-in. All of the students were currently hauled up in classrooms finishing their projects, sleeping bags pushed against the walls for later use when curfew officially began.

For a moment, Sam felt guilty about ditching Freddie and Brad. But she quashed the thought with another swig of beer and then belched loudly for good measure. She'd already been the guinea pig for their stupid MoodFace App and they hadn't even told her what the results were.

Gibby was right – Science really did jack shit for you when it came down to it.

Not that it mattered, none of it mattered.

Because Sam had a plan: she was just gonna stay right here in the iCarly studio, blaring the music to maximum volume just to piss the neighbours off and drinking till she didn't feel anything ever again, least of all for Freddie Benson.

That was the plan, till Brad walked into the studio.

The expression of shock on his handsome face said it all.

"Sam?"

"It'd better be me, especially after I poured half a can of beer on some moron walking on the street down below," Sam answered before giggling uncontrollably.

Brad instinctively ran to the window in question and peered outside. "Why did you pour beer on some random guy's head?" He asked in confusion, turning to face Sam once more.

"I…felt like sharing." She joked before taking another slurping sip.

"Sam, what's going on? What are you doing in the iCarly studio?"

"I host the show, or half of it! What are you doing here…Bradford?" Sam shot back, unable to come up with a better insult on the last part.

Brad had the good sense to look politely abashed at this question. "Funny story, actually. I forgot a vital piece of software here during the last episode of iCarly. I kinda need it for mine and Freddie's MoodFace App." He explained.

"You mean…you snuck out of school to come get it? That's pretty bad ass." Sam congratulated with her signature smirk on her face, tipping the can of beer in Brad's direction.

In spite of her usual quips, Brad could tell that something was off about Sam tonight. And unless his eyes were deceiving him, her eyes looked strangely red and puffy like she'd been crying not too long ago.

"Sam, are you ok?" He probed.

"Course, why wouldn't I be? I'm just chillin' like ribs a grillin'," Sam returned with finesse.

"Uh…great." Brad offered with a nervous smile playing on his lips.

"Excellent. Now that you've got your precious dorky technology, why don't you just mosey on back to school? I'm sure Freduardo's laying a giant turd just waiting for you to get back so you can finish your nerdy little project." Sam retorted with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Yip, something was definitely up with Sam. Brad concluded that she seemed a little too anxious to get rid of him. And then there was the way she'd mentioned Freddie that seemed way too forced, even for their usual bickering.

Then again, she had been a lot nicer to Freddie lately. Was she mad at him for something?

"Sam, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at school tucked away in a sleeping bag in Ms. Brigg's classroom along with the other girls right now." Brad pointed out with just a hint of firmness evident in his voice.

"Well, that's not happening. Firstly, because Ms. Briggs will probably play her lame bagpipe soundtrack all night long and I won't be able to sleep anyway. And secondly, it's not like anybody will realise that I'm not even there, Brad." Sam, spat derisively.

"That's not true, Carly would notice. She's probably wondering where you are right now." Brad stated reasonably.

"She's the only one, trust me."

Then Sam remembered her fight with Carly earlier, beginning to doubt her assertion all the more.

"What makes you say that?"

"Just…forget it. I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Sam, I know I'm just the new intern or whatever. But if something's bothering you-"

"Nothing's bothering me, ok! Would you just get out of here?" Sam fumed.

"Did something happen tonight at school? Is that why you're hiding out here?"

Brad didn't know why he couldn't just let this go and leave. He'd heard enough stories about Sam to know that a healthy amount of fear where she was concerned was not only the norm, but encouraged.

"Oh my God, what is this? An interrogation room? Cuz I gotta tell ya, I've been in one of those a couple times and they're pretty overrated-"

"You were in police custody? What for?" Brad asked in bewilderment.

"Meh, just for bashing in some dude's car. He used to date my mom and he kinda stole her entire life savings." Sam remarked casually.

Brad felt like he was rapidly losing his grip on reality the longer this conversation continued. But oddly enough, it made him want to stay and not bolt for the door.

"All criminal activities aside, that's pretty cool, Sam." He offered.

"Thanks…I guess."

An uncomfortable silence ensued for a few seconds where Brad ran a hand through his hair and Sam shuffled on the balls of her feet.

"Want a beer?" she asked in a decidedly courteous manner.

Brad thought it over. He knew he should head back to school and finish his project. But Sam looked like she could use a friend for whatever it was that she was clearly upset about.

"Sure," he finally answered.

He took a fresh can from Sam's hand and opened the top with a satisfying pop. Then he sat himself down on the empty futon next to Sam, took a big swig and burped a little.

"Wow, Brad. For a moment there, you almost looked like you'd actually had a drink before." Sam teased.

"My older brother's in college. Whenever he visits, he always smuggles in a keg so my parents don't know. Sometimes, he lets me sit and drink with his friends in our basement when they have parties." Brad explained nonchalantly while taking another sip.

"Your brother seems like a cool dude."

"Yeah, not really. He's kinda a jackass. But hey, free beer is still free beer, right?"

"I will definitely drink to that," Sam concluded, extending her beer can towards Brad.

He took the hint and clinked his can against hers before they went right back to drinking in silence.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Ok."

"Lemme me ask you something, Brad."

"You know that wasn't technically a question, right?"

"Would you shut up for a second and let me ask it then?"

"Ask away."

"Ok. Do you think it's possible for someone – let's call him…Ted – who's known a girl named…Ham all his life and who's constantly mean to him – to ever see her…in a different light?"

"Well, that depends. Why is…Ham being mean to…Ted?"

"Ham is mean to Ted because…there's just something about him that makes her want to smash his head open on a fire hydrant."

"So she hates him?"

"Not exactly. It's…complicated."

"So she likes him?"

"God no! Ham would rather eat tofu bacon for a year than ever like Ted!"

"O-k. So if Ham basically wants nothing to do with Ted, then why would she care whether Ted sees her in a different light or not?" Brad asked shrewdly.

"Because…in spite of everything, Ted still manages to see the good in Ham and bails her out of crappy situations, even when she doesn't deserve it." Sam responded in a care-worn tone accompanied by a deep sigh.

"So she's indebted to him?"

"Kinda, but it's more than that. Maybe Ham figures that if Ted likes her, then it means that she's actually worth something to somebody, to anybody really. For her, it means that she's actually good in a way and not a total screw-up. But she also doesn't want that because being bad is all she knows. She's good at being bad, it's just who she is."

"That makes sense. But what if all was just an act? What if Ham is actually really good on the inside, but pretends to be bad because being good makes her look weak and vulnerable and she doesn't like feeling that way?" Brad questioned in a philosophical way.

"But what if she's just pretending to be good when she's actually just really bad?"

"Well, which is it, Sam? Is she really good or is she just really bad?"

"Ham doesn't know!" Sam blurted out unexpectedly, which almost made Brad spill his drink in surprise at her sudden vehemence on the current topic of discussion.

Sam sighed again and threw her head against the back of the futon in frustration. "Ham doesn't know what she wants," she murmured quietly more to herself.

Brad laid his empty can down on the ground beside him and decided to try another tact with Sam.

"Ok, Ham's confused about what she's really feeling towards Ted, I get that. But at the end of the day, it's all the same. Whether Ham's a good or bad person is irrelevant. What sucks the most is that she feels the need to constantly pretend around people she knows (Ted included) and that she doesn't feel comfortable enough to just be herself. It's hard to tell how Ted feels about Ham. But if Ham's being honest with herself, I would suggest that she owns up to what's really going on and just embrace it. If Ted doesn't feel the same way she does, she'll get over it eventually. But what's important is that she figures out who she really is (good or bad) and accepts it. If Ted's the right guy for her, he'll be smart enough to take her just as is she is without trying to change her into something she's not."

"Even if Ted likes m-Ham just as she is, what if she can't be what he wants and needs? What if she's just not good enough?" Sam questioned morosely.

"Nobody's perfect, we're all just diamonds in the rough, Sam."

"Maybe I'm just rough, Brad."

"Actually, I think you're pretty easy."

Brad blushed when Sam began laughing hysterically at his words.

"That came out wrong, didn't it?" he asked dubiously.

"Pretty much," Sam wheezed in-between laughing her head off.

Brad finally conceded and laughed right along with her as they both lounged comfortably in their futons.

"You know what I mean," he supplied when it became quiet between them again.

"I do. Message received – thanks." Sam answered with a small smile on her face, cocking her head to look at Brad momentarily.

"You're welcome." Brad said, returning the smile.

It was when their eyes were still locked on each other that a curious thing happened.

A blatantly non-verbal message passed between them in that moment, blue eyes meeting brown eyes in a cataclysmic haze of unsullied fascination. And the message was mutually received and seemingly rejected all at the same time. Sam averted her eyes and Brad hastily got to his feet.

"I should probably get back to school…before anybody notices that I'm gone." He declared, digging his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

"Yeah, you should go. I should uh…clean up so that Spencer and Carly won't know that I was here. Then I'll just head home." Sam agreed, an unnaturally wide smile plastered onto her face.

"Uh…thanks for the beer." Brad blurted out, his words feeling strangely foolish and uncoordinated.

"I felt like sharing," Sam repeated, cursing her sudden jumpiness.

If anyone asked later, the two would both agree that the next few seconds became extremely discomfited and confusing in more ways than one.

Sam had abruptly gotten to her feet while Brad had tried to turn away to leave. But a normal case of head-rush coupled with being overtly tipsy caused Sam to teeter slightly and lose her balance. Brad impulsively reached out and made a grab for her, catching her around the waist before she could fall. But instead of just righting her the way one would with a capsized boat, he ended up pulling her closer and right up against his chest.

And there they were, standing with no visible distance between them, Sam looking up at Brad with an unfathomable expression, his hands still firmly clasped around her willowy frame.

"Sam, I-"

But Brad didn't finish whatever he had been trying to say. It was somewhere in-between finding the right words and watching the way the light overhead flickered in Sam's blue eyes that he decided to kiss her.

If anyone asked Brad later about it, he would've claimed that the alcohol had made him do it. But really, that wasn't the case at all. In that moment, Brad had simply seen Sam and realised that she was beautiful, just the way she is. And an overwhelming emotion took hold of him in wanting to relay that message to her.

And it was conveyed perfectly with the movement of Brad's lips ghosting against Sam's, his hands moving to cup her face just beneath her chin. His jaw tightened with some mysterious tension as his mouth opened and closed over hers, enveloping Sam's top and bottom lips with rigour, their breath mingling in the stillness of the warm air emitted from their lungs.

Brad eventually broke the kiss like wrenching a nail from a wall and Sam stumbled back just a little, her eyes half open in disorientation, her lips still pursed in concentration.

And then her brain began working on hyper-drive as she began processing what had just happened.

Brad kissed her.

She had kissed Freddie.

Freddie hadn't kissed her back.

She hadn't kissed Brad back.

_But a part of her really wanted to. _

"Sam, I-"

"Ssh," Sam interrupted, going so far as to put a silencing finger on Brad's lips while she caught her breath and thought it over.

It really was a no-brainer.

"I think you're pretty easy too," she finally mumbled before mashing her lips against his.

Brad's feet slid a little out from underneath him as Sam wrapped her arms around his back and put some action behind her words. And he was powerless to fight the sudden rush of endorphins coursing through his veins as he steadied the two of them in his arms and matched Sam's lips equally and readily.

He released a shuddering breath as he pulled back once more, something else occurring to him in that moment.

"What about Ted and Ham?" Brad questioned, recollecting the foggy moments of that extremely surreal conversation.

"Ted and Ham can wait," Sam muttered in a husky voice.

Something about the way Sam said it made the blood beneath Brad's skin race with desire and then he was kissing her all over again. Her shirt rose up while she tried to close the distance between their varying heights and his hands strayed underneath the soft fabric where her smooth skin was exposed.

Sam squeaked in surprise when Brad hoisted her upwards just off the ground, his fingers making her tingle all over. And it made her desire to make things a little more horizontal between them far more pronounced than ever.

Then it was Brad mumbling something incomprehensible in surprise when Sam ended up wrestling their bodies back onto the futon, straddling his waist with a fervent look in her eye.

"Do you have, um…the stuff?" she asked in a small voice.

It took Brad an appallingly long time to figure out exactly what Sam meant by 'the stuff', his lust-filled brain clouding all rational thought.

"Right! In my wallet," Brad supplied in a helpful tone. "But first…" He trailed off meaningfully, his hand creeping lower over Sam's hip bone.

Sam laughed out loud when Brad managed to flip her on her back without breaking into a sweat, his hands pinning her wrists down on either side of her face.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he concluded, capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

Sam reciprocated, drinking Brad in slowly and gasping when his lips travelled down to the pulse points on her neck, sweltering breath teasing at her skin like a tantalising whisper. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, giving herself over to the sensation as Brad began lifting her red and white striped shirt upwards with gusto, his eyes speaking volumes. Then his mouth dipped even lower over her body, spreading heat slowly along the line of her rib cage and navel. Then with a quick snap, the button on her black skinny jeans came loose, the zipper moving of its own accord as Brad dragged the denim material down her muscular calves and off her pulsing skin.

"Your turn," Sam commanded before wrestling Brad off of her and onto his back before claiming his lips once more.

Brad's hands immediately got tangled up in Sam's curly mane, their mouths moving fluidly like a river running wild against the current. He groaned in a mixture of pain and ecstasy when Sam's teeth raked across his neck in a possessive manner, marking him with a pink imprint. Brad wasn't even sure how she managed to get his shirt off without seemingly undoing any buttons whatsoever. All he could concentrate on was the girl on top of him, taking him somewhere he felt sure he'd regret later, but was too far gone to care at this particular moment.

Hands wrapped tightly around his neck, Sam met his lips in a blur of maddened lust overdosing on pure desperation, her hands gliding up and down Brad's lean chest, which was currently still covered by his undershirt. But Sam had her own special brand of torture in mind as she began grinding against the massive bulge in his pants, the movement causing the futon beneath them to move a few inches to the left as they grappled to and fro.

"Sam," Brad hissed in pleasure, feeling like his brain had just exploded.

Sam ignored him for the moment and continued her blissful inquisition as her hands slid under the white cotton of his undershirt, pulling it upwards as she continued exploring his sinewy body. Brad sat up slightly and disposed of the offending garment, watching in breathless anticipation as Sam's mouth shifted down towards his abdomen with persistence, her tongue lapping up at the tiny beads of sweat forming on his moist skin.

This was all too much for Brad. All he'd wanted to do was retrieve some software for his project. And here he was, half naked in the iCarly studio with one of the hottest girls he'd ever laid eyes on. Sure, Sam was rough around the edges in more ways than one, but her feisty side made him gravitate naturally towards her instead of being repulsed by it. And that overwhelming pull she had over him was drawing him into her like a magnet stuck to a refrigerator, desire slamming head-on into his chest and reverberating through the rest of his body.

For the most part, Brad thought of himself as being a pretty level-headed guy. But with a girl like Sam in the equation, there was bound to be trouble.

And right now, he loved trouble.

It took very little effort on Brad's part to find the edges of Sam's underwear and pull it downwards while her own hands unclasped her bra and yanked it off. She made short work at rolling Brad's boxers down over his hip bones and off of his legs, exposing his hardened girth to her ravenous eyes. After Brad managed to retrieve a condom from his jeans (which lay a few inches away from them across the floor), he unwrapped the foil packaging and placed it on his dick, which was standing at attention from Sam's previous teasing.

Unable to wait any longer, Brad pushed Sam back down onto the futon and covered his body with hers.

With Sam pinned beneath him, Brad got the upper hand when he began grinding his hardened length against Sam's heated centre, moist with anticipation, being very careful not to slip inside of her just yet. The growing friction was so enticing, making it impossible to focus on anything else but the burning ache forming between their sexes touching as they basically dry-humped each other. Sam locked her legs around Brad, her knees knocking impatiently against his waist to make him budge, but to no avail.

"Urgh – enough – fucking – foreplay…" Sam growled, her words coming out like someone walking on wobbly stilts.

Brad grinned and got off of Sam and shifted their bodies so that she was sitting in his lap on the futon.

"Your move," he whispered breathlessly, inadvertently giving her one last chance to back out.

But Sam wasn't backing down, not by a long shot. She grabbed Brad's head and kissed him forcefully, her tongue slipping inside of his mouth as she laid her claim on him.

Brad grabbed at Sam's waist, his hands sweeping up and down her hip bones while their tongues duelled together. And just at the point where their lips parted and made to join once more, Sam sank down and into position, clutching at Brad's throbbing dick with her inner walls.

The sudden intrusion took them both by surprise, eyes locked intently on each other. Then something shook and wavered inside of Sam and she was hoisting her hips up and down over Brad, taking him in over and over again. Brad's hands grasped at the points where Sam's arms connected to her back, pulling her back and forth over his heated cock thrusting into her simultaneously.

"Fuck…" Sam cursed in a low murmur, her thighs finding their own rhythm while her hands locked around Brad's neck as they rocked together.

"Shit!" Brad exclaimed, throwing his head back against the futon, his light brown hair darkened with sweat, his fingers digging into Sam's hips and making bruising indentations while she rode him with abandon.

Sam angled her hips and took more of Brad in on each downward thrust of her thighs, the futon rising along with their coarse movements. No amount of drinking could achieve this kind of unadulterated ecstasy that she felt literally coursing through her bones, making her mind a blank page of numbness. The only sensation she had was the inherent pleasure forming in her belly, tightening with aching rapture as they approached the end.

"Almost there…" she crooned, shutting her eyes and surrendering to the hypnotising phenomenon, planting a bruising kiss on his lips.

"Ugh – me too!" Brad chorused, bouncing Sam harder and faster on his lap while kissing her back frantically.

Sam moved closer into Brad and grasped painstakingly at clumps of his wet hair with her hands, moaning in arousal when Brad groaned beneath her. His hands found her ass cheeks and moved her rapidly over his dick, his legs shaking violently with a lumbering effort that nearly robbed him of breath. His hands found her back and held on tight as he prepared to climax.

"Brad!" Sam shrieked, coming undone when he dug his fingers into her skin, pink lashes forming on her back as she came hard against him.

She fell against his chest, listening to his heart thudding erratically beneath her, her head resting tiredly on his shoulder blade, still clutching his hair in fists. Brad's hands remained on Sam's body, one of them creeping up towards the back of her neck to hold her against him while still buried deep inside of her. When Sam finally dared to lift her head from its resting place, she chanced a look at Brad and saw a myriad of emotions reflecting in his dark eyes. She impulsively leant forward and claimed his mouth in a swelteringly chaste kiss, much like when he had first kissed her during the course of the night.

"Sam…" Brad murmured, saying her name like an answered prayer.

Her heart somersaulted in her chest when he kissed her again, his arms locking around hers in a taut embrace.

* * *

Sam woke up abruptly a few hours later.

The clock on the wall said '05:22'.

"Holy shit…" she mumbled groggily, clutching her forehead to steady the dizzy sensation from sitting up too quickly.

A sharp grunt in close proximity startled her out of her reverie. With a wary countenance, Sam glanced downwards after getting over her initial shock.

She was lying on one of the futons in the iCarly studio, wrapped up in what looked like Freddie's green screen blanket. And Brad was lying next to her, covered in green as well, his cheek resting on his arm in a peaceful manner.

All it took was one look under the make-shift blanket to realise that they were both butt naked.

That's when the happenings of last night came screaming back to the surface like the ghost of a haunted house.

She and Freddie kissed.

Then she and Brad –

Under normal circumstances, Sam scrambling furiously out of the covers should've woken Brad up. But he slept on, his free hand moving automatically towards the spot which Sam had previously occupied and grasping instead at a stray clump of squishy futon.

A sudden lump rose in Sam's throat when she contemplated the mess she'd just made.

How could she have fucked things up so badly in the space of a few hours?

She couldn't stick around, not when Spencer was due to drive her, Freddie, Gibby and Carly back from school in an hour or so. She couldn't face either Freddie or Brad, least of all like this.

A semblance of a plan began formulating in Sam's fuzzy brain while she began putting her clothes back on in a hurry.

It was totally insane.

Then again, she'd done some pretty crazy shit that warranted an equal plan of action.

It was the only way to fix any of this.

She had to get away from here, and fast.

Sam tried not to think too much about how Brad would feel when he woke up eventually and realised she was gone. But she rallied on and closed the door of the iCarly studio gently behind her with a heavy heart.

With any luck, Brad would wake up before Carly & Co got back to Bushwell Plaza and he'd be able to sneak away with his dignity (and maybe some pants) still intact.

And so began the first of many crazy misadventures for the near future:

Sam checked herself into a little place called 'Troubled Waters Mental Hospital'.

Freddie went to find her and process his growing feelings for her at the same time.

Carly tagged along for the same reasons, trying desperately to figure out how any of this craziness started in the first place.

And Brad stayed behind in Seattle, pretending that absolutely nothing had changed.

* * *

**Auth****or's Notes: Ok, I admit it. No, not that - the other thing. I used a Seddie angle to influence a Bam hook-up! That, my friends, is what you would call a Sheldon Cooper case of 'Bazinga!'. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's cool - I barely know myself ;D Yes, this was extremely...lemony. But that's the point of this story: shameless smut and no consequences whatsoever. The song that inspired it all is a recent find of mine called "Promises" by Nero, pimpin' techno beat.  
**

**Musical References: **

**"Take Me Back" by Backhouse Mike (a favourite of Dan Schneider's that I couldn't resist using)  
**

**My apologies to sockstar for not having Sam lick hot fudge off of Brad, it just wasn't in the cards this time around :P I'd like to think that my use of iOMG and iLost My Mind canon was at least a little clever, if not completely sadistic. Next pairing: Spencer and Sasha...whenever I decide to write it. Happy Weekend! **


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